Ask Aunt Fern

Dear Aunt Fern;

I am in a real fix. I have recently met a man and while I don't know if he is the man of my dreams, I'm not getting any younger. He appears to be a decent, hardworking sort of man and he has asked me to marry him. I'm tempted but for one thing. He doesn't like my cats. This is a big problem. I breed pussy cats for a living!

Now my late Grandmother always told me "A man who don't like cats won't like pussy." I never quite understood what she meant, since isn't that the same thing?
Oh, Aunt Fern, what should I do? My Pussy Cats have been my life, my happiness and my livihood up until now. Can I give them up for a man?
Signed: Pussy in the Well.


Dear Pussy in The Well:
Snap to Reality, Dear. Time to stop living with the cat litter and start producing some litters of your own. A man is worth more than some hairballs on the furniture! God gave you dominion over the beasts, now time for you start thinking straight. Find homes for those critters of yours or put them out in the barn to catch some mice. Make them work for a living. A nice man to look after you? When can we expect the wedding announcement?
Yours in the Lord,
Aunt Fern.